Diary of a Newly Qualified Midwife: Day 1

Day 1. Trust Induction 

Had the speakers not been engaging and charismatic, this would have been Death by PowerPoint. 

From the effervescent host with the magenta flashes of hair (you can guess why I liked that!) to the RC Chaplain. He told us a couple of stories; that of a woman in her 80s who was in great emotional distress while in hospital as her husband of forever had handed a letter to her nurses to give to her. 

He left her with a letter

But the second, cheerier highlight of his segment was him explaining that there were locks on some prayer rooms as he’d had to advise a young lad and his three female companions that it was not a room for frolicks – and while latching the door might have saved their blushes, not pulling the curtains was a rookie mistake.

Infection control visited and showed us the massive drop in cases of MRSA and C-Diff that had occurred by implementing very simple hand washing and anti- cross contamination measures. We had our hands squirted with goo that showed up under UV (quiet in the back there, this is a respectable establishment) and were sent off to the bathrooms to scrub our hands for UV inspection. Upon waiting in the long line of women, we all witnessed a woman exit a toilet cubicle, see there were a couple of dozen people waiting to wash hands…and exit the bathroom.

You couldn’t make it up.

A clinical Trust Induction arrived in the afternoon and the diverse group of attendees ranging from ER nurses, paediatric nurses, HCAs and I were introduced to scenarios on a video clip of dramatised shitty care. Included a lonley, ignored older gentleman and made me want to scream at the screen. I did not.

Finally – e-learning. It was like the stuff we had to do in uni, the edge being taken off the manual handling slides by the fact I was being paid to look at them.

I met with one of the women from my cohort who now works there and it was amazing to see the change in her. So confident and settled – gave me hope that I might not be out of my depth after all. I’ve been so nervous but seeing her was a tonic, she made things sound straightforward and achievable.



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